HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL SPIRITUAL WORLD VIEWS (1)
I hope you find ones that fit your world view. If not, add your own to the list. At least, start your new year with a chuckle.
- Taoism:Shit happens.
- Confucianism:Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
- Buddhism:If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
- Zen Buddhism:Shit is, and is not.
- Zen Buddhism #2:What is the sound of shit happening?
- Hinduism:This shit has happened before.
- Islam:If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
- Islam #2:If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
- Islam #3:If shit happens, blame Israel.
- Catholicism:If shit happens, you deserve it.
- Protestantism:Let shit happen to someone else.
- Presbyterian:This shit was bound to happen.
- Episcopalian:It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
- Methodist: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
- Congregationalist:Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
- Unitarian:Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
- Lutheran:If shit happens, don’t talk about it.
- Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
- Fundamentalism #2:If shit happens to a televangelist, it’s okay.
- Fundamentalism #3:Shit must be born again.
- Judaism:Why does this shit always happen to us?
- Calvinism:Shit happens because you don’t work.
- Seventh Day Adventism:No shit shall happen on Saturday.
- Creationism:God made all shit.
- Secular Humanism:Shit evolves.
- Christian Science: When shit happens, don’t call a doctor – pray!
- Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
- Unitarianism:Come let us reason together about this shit.
- Quakers:Let us not fight over this shit.
- Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
- Darwinism:This shit was once food.
- Capitalism:That’s MY shit.
- Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.
- Feminism:Men are shit.
- Chauvinism:We may be shit, but you can’t live without us…
- Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.
- Impressionism:From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
- Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.
- Existentialism:Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
- Existentialism #2:What is shit, anyway?
- Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
- Hedonism:There is nothing like a good shit happening!
- Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
- Mormonism #2:This shit is going to happen again.
- Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
- Scientology: If shit happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.
- Jehovah’s Witnesses:>Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
- Jehovah’s Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
- Jehovah’s Witnesses #3:Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
- Moonies:Only really happy shit happens.
- Hare Krishna:Shit happens, rama rama.
- Rastafarianism:Let’s smoke this shit!
- Zoroastrianism:Shit happens half on the time.
- Church of SubGenius:BoB shits.
- Practical:Deal with shit one day at a time.
- Agnostic:Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
- Agnostic #2:Did someone shit?
- Agnostic #3:What is this shit?
- Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
- Atheism:What shit?
- Atheism #2:I can’t believe this shit!
- Nihilism:No shit.
- Narcisism:I am the shit!
- And of course we must add…Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!
- Solopsism: The only real shit is in my mind.